Press Release April
1, 2013
Background
Background
Former Secretary of
Defense Dr. William J. Perry during his landmark presentation of April 2003 at Stanford University on "Technology and National Security", referred a highly classified project, the "Moon
Bomb" which begun in 1977 (see page
3 of his presentation below). The brilliant idea was put forward that, "we
should build a large rocket. The payload of the rocket would be along strand of
steel cable. One end of the cable would be attached to the Earth. Then the
rocket would be launched in the direction of the moon, with the cable playing
out behind it as it went toward the moon. When the rocket landed on the moon, a
little robot would come out and attach the other end of the steel cable to the
moon. So, we have this picture: here’s
the moon and here’s the Earth, and we have this cable between them. Now, as the
Earth rotated, it would pull the attached moon in toward it, and, in accordance
with its design, do so in such a way that the moon would smash into the Soviet
Union. This is true; I’m not making it up. My executive brought me the letter
along with a critique written by one of the physicists on my staff". In other words the result is like putting a lasso around the moon and pulling it close. This concept has been around a long time and
was 1st theorized by George Bailey dramatized by Jimmy Stewart in the 1949 documentary/
movie "It’s a Wonderful Life", where George says" I'll throw a lasso around moon" to Mary (Donna Reed) .
The project was examined by a top physicist who worked for Dr. Perry . The Physicist used the term 'infeasible' when describing the project . We are assuming this was a code name for the highly classified project, since Dr. Perry said it was "a really good suggestions like the Moon Bomb…" . I think we can all agree the key to this project is the cable and if any company would have a chance to build this cable it will be OnlineCables.com.
The project was examined by a top physicist who worked for Dr. Perry . The Physicist used the term 'infeasible' when describing the project . We are assuming this was a code name for the highly classified project, since Dr. Perry said it was "a really good suggestions like the Moon Bomb…" . I think we can all agree the key to this project is the cable and if any company would have a chance to build this cable it will be OnlineCables.com.
Since everyone
knows that steel cable is not strong enough for this project, we at
OnlineCables.com felt this could be the stumbling block holding such an
important project back. OnlineCables.com team of scientists and engineers
looked at all of the possible materials to be used. There was only one possible
choice: Unitainium (pronounced Un-e-tain-ium).
Yes, Unitainium which has been known to engineers everywhere and is too
classified to be on the periodic table.
The rumor has it as listed as element zero. Unitainium has no electrons,
no neutrons and no protons; more importantly it has no mass. That solves that
pesky "cable cannot hold its own weight" problem that has been
nagging this critical project from day one! Pure dark matter with infinite strength held
together with string theory that is only known to Stephen Hawking. This
explains its' amazing properties: it has no mass, and an unidentifiable amount
of strength. Unitainium doesn't really
exist in this dimension, which explains its zero weight, and zero mass
properties. In 2005, astronomers from
Cardiff University discovered a galaxy made almost entirely of dark matter,
only 50 million light years away from earth. That's like next door for NASA,
especially when Voyager 1 is traveling at amazing speed of 38,610 mph. Is Voyager
1 secretly on its way to that
Galaxy? Is it is a coincidence that
Voyager 1 was launched in 1977 the same year the Moon Bomb was started? Further,
evidence: In 2005, NASA reported that Voyager 1 entered the heliosheath (the
region in which the solar wind begins to slow down due to encountering the interstellar medium), and last
October, researchers reported that it may have left the heliosphere altogether.
Why would NASA report that Voyager 1 be slowing down and not reporting accurate
position? Perhaps NASA did not want other countries to know how quickly the
probe was approaching the galaxy with dark matter. With small amounts of Dark
matter the United States will be able to manufacture the Moon Bomb cable.
Who makes the best
cables in the world? Obviously,
OnlineCables.com does! So who would the United States turn to for
manufacturing such a critical cable, only one choice OnlineCables.com.
The administration
was considering the "Death Star" in 2012 when about 34,000 citizens
demand that it be built. The White House
recently nixed all plans for a Death Star which was estimated to cost more than
$850,000,000,000,000,000. Did the White
House nix the Death Star to concentrate on the Moon Bomb? We at
OnlineCables.com stand ready for that resounding -- Yes.
We at
OnlineCables.com feel that once the dark matter is brought back to Earth, in
appropriate purity a cable can be built for far less than the Death Star's
$850,000,000,000,000,000. We feel using precise "Big Dig" math used
to estimate the underground tunnels in Boston and further refined by the "SF
Bay Bridge" cost qualifier model to give large complex programs accurate
estimates to a trillion dollars. The cost plus fixed fee contract will run only
$850,000,000,000,000 which is only 1% of the cost of the Death Star. A real
savings! We feel the Obama administration made the right choice in selecting
the Moon Bomb over the Death Star.
For more reading on
the Moon Bomb:
Dr. Perry's Stanford Conference
More on Obama and the Death Star
Quotes from It's a Wonderful Life
More on OnlineCables.com
Happy April Fool's
Day!
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